The time has come it seems to start thinking about saying goodbye to breastfeeding. I have fed Boo for a lot longer than I originally intended, (my plan was 6 months) and a heck of a lot longer than I thought I would achieve in the early days (I felt thankful to get through each feed!).
I return to work in two months time, sadly, so I have to start thinking about my options as I don’t want to stop suddenly as that wouldn’t be fair to Boo. I am feeling very sad about the whole process of stopping breastfeeding, in recent months, once both Boo and myself got better at it breastfeeding has become a lovely time that we share and she still feeds to sleep both during the day and at night. She still feeds on a night, (one a night – for the past month unless she is teething).
In all honesty it seems that I have an insurmountable task ahead of me, we are going to have to change vast parts of her day. I don’t even know where to start.
Do I move feeds so she can’t feed to sleep?
Do I start sleep training so she can be put in her cot awake?
Do I just stop feeding her on a night or do I carry on with that?
Will she wean herself off her night feed? (I have no problem waking once a night to feed her even once I have gone back to work)
And those are just a few questions I am asking myself, I have kept putting this decision off, hoping she will start to eat more, or feed less, but I am cutting things very fine and soon, two days a week she is going to be without me, (and my boobies) from 7.30am until 6pm. I intend to express so she can help breast milk at nursery but she doesn’t take a bottle and spits out most of what she drinks from a cup.
This big change in Boo’s relationship to breastfeeding is also a big reminder that sooner than I would like breastfeeding is going to come to an end. Full Stop. And this makes me feel really really sad, I love our feeding cuddles and I know I am really going to miss them. I hope to let Boo wean herself off breast milk gradually as she gets older, and I don’t want to be the one who decides that it is time to stop.
I have some big questions to answer and some big changes to make, and I am really not looking forward to any of it. I wish with all my heart that I could have longer before I needed to go back to work so that I could just let Boo lead the whole process.