Bye Bye Booby Juice!

The time has come it seems to start thinking about saying goodbye to breastfeeding.  I have fed Boo for a lot longer than I originally intended, (my plan was 6 months) and a heck of a lot longer than I thought I would achieve in the early days (I felt thankful to get through each feed!).

I return to work in two months time, sadly, so I have to start thinking about my options as I don’t want to stop suddenly as that wouldn’t be fair to Boo.  I am feeling very sad about the whole process of stopping breastfeeding, in recent months, once both Boo and myself got better at it breastfeeding has become a lovely time that we share and she still feeds to sleep both during the day and at night.  She still feeds on a night, (one a night – for the past month unless she is teething).

In all honesty it seems that I have an insurmountable task ahead of me, we are going to have to change vast parts of her day. I don’t even know where to start.

Do I move feeds so she can’t feed to sleep?
Do I start sleep training so she can be put in her cot awake?
Do I just stop feeding her on a night or do I carry on with that?
Will she wean herself off her night feed? (I have no problem waking once a night to feed her even once I have gone back to work)

And those are just a few questions I am asking myself, I have kept putting this decision off, hoping she will start to eat more, or feed less, but I am cutting things very fine and soon, two days a week she is going to be without me, (and my boobies) from 7.30am until 6pm. I intend to express so she can help breast milk at nursery but she doesn’t take a bottle and spits out most of what she drinks from a cup.

This big change in Boo’s relationship to breastfeeding is also a big reminder that sooner than I would like breastfeeding is going to come to an end. Full Stop. And this makes me feel really really sad, I love our feeding cuddles and I know I am really going to miss them.  I hope to let Boo wean herself off breast milk gradually as she gets older, and I don’t want to be the one who decides that it is time to stop.

I have some big questions to answer and some big changes to make, and I am really not looking forward to any of it.  I wish with all my heart that I could have longer before I needed to go back to work so that I could just let Boo lead the whole process.

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7 thoughts on “Bye Bye Booby Juice!

  1. You sound so sad to be stopping nursing, this post is really moving. While I was lucky enough not to have to go back to work, I do have a number of friends who did and were still able to continue breastfeeding – one friend worked five days a week and was still able to keep going. Two months is a long time in terms of learning to use a cup, and I’m told many babies are fine with water during the day and make up for lost time when back with their mother. Obviously if you want to stop it’s entirely your decision, I just wanted to let you know that returning to work doesn’t mean you have to stop if you’re not ready. And well done on coming so far!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, I know that returning to work doesn’t have to mean the end but it really feels like the beginning of the end. I think also I really don’t feel ready to go back to work and I wish I didn’t have to, so there are a lot of feelings all mixed up together.

  2. Congrats on being able to feed longer than expected! Those first few weeks can be brutal! It will take time, but you will both adjust-at least that’s what I’m telling myself, (I wrote a post very similar to this today-haha!) #BFingdiaries

    1. Oh yes the early weeks are brutal, and no matter what anyone tells you, you can’t appreciate it without experiencing it!! It does get easier, but then there are fresh challenges!! It keeps us on our toes!

  3. Seeing that little face in those glasses and hat really makes me smile! And Mama, you have done so well and you will figure out the next part of your nursing journey out as it comes to an end. I found not being around really helped, but it’s not always easy. This happened to us just by accident but we went from a morning and night feed to no feeds in a couple of days and my daughter really wasn’t bothered! It was definitely me that was effected, but we/they are all different. Thanks for linking up with #BFingDiaries

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